It’s been one year.
One year since I did one of the scariest things of my life.
So scary that a year ago in December I actually lost 5lbs (like with all the holiday yumminess and everything) solely from a lost appetite due to fear and anxiety which I’d never experienced before. All over some heavy information about what really happened 12 years ago and a shaking of things that had been monuments in my childhood and in turn defined my worth in unhealthy ways while simultaneously telling me I couldn’t trust myself and need walls to stay safe.
Walls I didn’t even know I had!
Geez trauma can really do a number on your mind that you still unpack years later.
Last year’s process has faded but the fruit of the risks taken has blossomed beyond imagination.
It’s hard work learning to reframe narratives from new information and adult perspective. But man a year later it’s sooo worth it.
I know 2020 has been rough for so many of us but it’s been really beautiful for me. Full of beautiful relationships and freedom I didn’t know was possible or that when a prince pays the ultimate price for your heart he won’t settle with you only being able to experience part of his love. No instead he will pursue you past all your walls so you can have access to all that he paid for at the cross. Love is patient. Even for 11 years for the perfect timing to walk us through whatever fears are in the way.
For those of you still battling your own it’s worth the fight. I promise.
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