Sometimes motherhood feels like a war.
A war with our internal mindsets of did we make the right choice, are we doing enough, are WE enough, are the kids going to be ready enough for the world outside our 4 walls someday?
But lately it’s been feeling like war with encroaching EXTERNAL forces intentionally or unintentionally trying to steal our peace.
Should I do this or that? What is best for my child? For my family? What does the science say what does it not say? What does God say? What does God not say?
I was having a short mental spiral of thoughts the other day regarding current events and how they effect my family and could more so in the future. Feeling this deep sadness on the division and almost dehumanizing of certain people as we continue to navigate this global situation. And an internal frustration with this ever increasing pressure from the culture around me to compromise and betray my conscious to please and calm other people's fears.
But the thing about fear is it will just come back in another form. No matter how much you think you can control it. Is control just a bandaid for fear? The unexpected is bound to happen (hello 2020 and life in general). And at the end of the day only I have to live with my conscious and spirit and compromising it & betraying it isn’t something I will do.
It’s not something I want to 20 years from now recall to my children and say I wish I hadn’t this… Or I wish I had this…. Or have to explain to them why I stayed quiet in my 4walls of a home and didn’t at least try to make sure their future could be worth the cost of history and the lives that shaped it so it didn’t repeat itself.
We can only do the best we can do with the information given to us at this moment. Looking at things from multiple perspectives but ultimately making choices you can live with. That’s all we can do.
Give yourselves grace mamas, we can navigate this thing too. And hopefully with understanding in our hearts for those that choose differently than us knowing we aren’t in their shoes.
Division, offense, fear, shaming, discrimination, & blaming are getting us nowhere. Can we go back to loving listening conversations that seek to understand?
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