I barely slept as I was so terrified of labor re starting before my energy returned but nothing happened that night and morning came with no baby and an emptiness in the house where as yesterday there was hope and expectation.
I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs where I had labored for the whole day before. It was probably some sort of trauma response.
Once the kids returned it felt normal again full of life again. But mentally I was in no way ready to start another bout of labor.
I had learned in this past season just how important it is to ask for help when you need it. Not trying to do everything alone. I knew I needed mental and emotional support.
So I asked a select few friends/family to come over and pray for me. Just a quick 20min visit to build me up. Just as I was physically recovering so too emotionally and mentally I needed support to recover from the day of false labor.
These cards pictured from one of the baby showers I was thrown, were such a divine foresight of what I needed to remind myself of and I put them up on my mirror, in my bathroom etc to remind me of truth during the next 12 days of limbo that were to follow that supportive Saturday.
But there was something so beautiful in seeing just how many people would drop their plans short notice for a short visit because I asked for help that Saturday and the following two weeks.
I asked for encouragement because none of us can be strong all the time.
Sometimes we need help, we are built for connection and community.
Two years ago I did some crazy, vulnerable, community building, fear shattering work in myself and to see how that paved the way for the openness to let others speak into my life in a very low and vulnerable moment and remind me who I was and what I was capable of was huge.
It was almost as if it was this epic full circle ending of a season showcasing the lessons learned and personal growth past fear into acceptance.
And goodness those next 12 days are not any I want to repeat as we waited and waited and waited in limbo and my strength returned and Braxton hicks returned and baby still didn’t come.
And then we made it to 42 weeks….
To be continued.
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