I eavesdropped on a doomsday conversation my girls had last night through tears when they heard Dad leave through the front door and assumed we had abandoned them!
It went something like this…..
5 year old Joelle sobbing through the whole tirade….“We’ll never get gifts or surprises again!”
3 year old Ezelle: “But Joelle Jesus can help.”
J: “We’ll never get to go to church again. We’ll never see our grandmas and grandpas again! We’ll only be able to see the neighbors!”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: I think I broke their mental state…. I think the “stay at home” isolation is getting to them more than I knew…. Maybe I’ve been too strict lately….
J: “We’ll be treated badly like Sarah in the book.” (referencing The Little Princess which Lindsay read to them recently over FaceTime)
E: “But Joelle Jesus can do Anything!”
J: “We’ll never get snacks…”
Ezelle now starting to get into the melodramatic narrative says: “Ya we’ll get poop for our snack”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: Try not to laugh try not to laugh and give away your position….
J: “Ya, we’ll only get poop to eat and pee to drink. No water. We’ll never have vegetables again…”
E: “Ya, only poop and pee!”
Eavesdropping mom thought: Well at least they consider veggies a luxury food to be grateful for? That’s something right?
J: “And if we go camping they’ll throw us in the fire and we’ll die!!!!”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: Oh my dear Lord Jesus what have I done that they’d think that!!!!! Should I go in and comfort them??? (Puts hand on door lightly and prays for peace to fill the room) No I’ll just try to listen above the whining of Simon in the other room and see if I can get any other clues to this meltdown through the door….
E: “Let’s take a deep breath Joelle.”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: Oh dear God in heaven thank you for the sanity of my 3 year old! Now why doesn’t she take a deep breath when I tell her too??? At least she’s remembering it as a meltdown emotional coping strategy??? Ok maybe I’m doing something right here in my mothering… At least I haven’t broken my 3 year old!
J: “We won’t learn to get jobs. We’ll never learn to drive. We’ll never go to school again!!!”
The dialog starts to turn hopeful in that they think the grandmas can help! Grandma Gobble could feed them all her recipes…Grandma Hoffman could give them cake. Lindsay & Riley would give them cheese!
E: “Let’s take deep breaths…haaa….huuuu….”
J: “haaa….huuuu….” E: “haaa…huuuu…”
J: “haaa….huuuu….” E: “haaa…huuuu…”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: Way to go Ezelle!!!!
J: “haaa….huuuu….” E: “haaa…huuuu…”
J: “haaa….huuuu….” E: “ok that’s enough. Do you feel better Joelle?”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: This is the most precious thing ever!!!!
The conversation, a lot less dramatic now and sobbing diminished, starts to turn toward what they could do in the morning to be wonderful kids….
J: “In the morning we should say thank you, and you’re welcome and do what mommy says.”
E: “ya we can have good attitudes”
J: “and clean up our room. and get less spankings. not take food without asking”
E: “not suck on pacifiers.”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: Oh my goodness what is happening right now! How awesome is this! Or wait… maybe this is a sign that they think they have to perform to receive mommy’s love. Oh no… have I communicated the wrong message to them and they don’t know they are unconditionally loved!!!!
J: “we will buy crowns for mom and dad. we will be nice. we can still say no and yes”
E: “I HAVE AND IDEA! How about let’s do everything mom and dad say!!!”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: Best idea yet! But what just happened…. How has this ended in hope???
J: “we’d get to stay up later and grow faster.”
E: “and get lots and lots of jewels” (our reward token system for good behaviors)
J: “and then get to watch lots and lots of things!”
Eavesdropping Mom Thought: I’m not quite sure what just happened…… Emotional breakdown that needed to happen so she could process pent up emotions maybe? Or Joelle feeling like she’s responsible for mom’s emotional state? That would be bad. Maybe I need to be more sensitive to how I’m coming across… Or maybe this is just a beautiful glimpse into their internal world and how I’ve actually helped equip them to navigate stress from depression into hope?
Be gracious to yourselves out there mommas you might be surprised by how much your little ones are really picking up from you already. And they really are truly effected by all this like we are in their own little ways.
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